Never say Never

I read back my blog on 5th Dec
I said I'll never forget this day? (I did)
:(

Be REAL!

This speaks me now and thanks EUGENIELY, cause even you had a verse in this song (:

LET'S GO!

Hide me behind a waterfall!

http://www.johnoverall.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/waterfall-cave1.jpg

Reaching Point

You have no idea how "well-done" I am in school.
Lol I was never the study sort to begin with, still very thankful to be where I am together, just graduate already!! (I hear my dad's pocket screaming the same thing)

Majority of friends are getting married,
starting a new phase of life altoghether.
Happy at the same time, afraid of the time when mine arrives/not arrive.
This future, this reaching point, just what is it?
Starting to lose the steam, starting to side track, starting to wander, starting to get lost, starting to not want it to end...

P.S: btw Toronto is a no goer this Christmas :(

Senior year!!

My last year wooohooo!
Looking forward to 1 wedding and Toronto (hopefully)

LOVE YOU FOLKS

Metamorphosis

This memoriable trip back has to be a realization of the transformations that happened around me.
People come and people go, both literally and metaphorically.
Its all too overwhelming at the same time happy to see the changes, for the best.
I mean life has so much to teach, although I lost my grandma the end of last year, it has been a relieve for my mom who was her primary care taker. The family overcome our sadness by welcoming the birth of my nephew Kienan.
I had a lot of family time this trip back, only to realise the grays on everyone else's heads and the deep furrowed wrinkles setting in. The depleting amount of money I'm absorbing for my education, I have only one wish to do well and its a good motivation for my very last leg of my race.

Talk about an educational journey, teaching about life.
We never cease to learn, even as we age.
I see friends being proposed too, friends getting married, people travelling the globe, people making it big in their start-up companies, its exciting cause I'm entering the next phase of life.
Yes, everyone keeps asking whats my next step?
But if you already know me well enough, I don't know, trust me I love the thrill of finding it out myself. I can make plans, but my plans never follow thru.
I love to be in the field of research, I love kids, I love to work in a clinical setting, can I get all the above? Where will I land my first job?
I don't have any answers to the above, my doors are open. I'm young, wild and free (:

er... don't get me wrong, not in a partying kinda way, but think of a bird... flying and soaring high.
I'll update soon when I graduate (on this topic). 2 weeks more guys before I go back to the land of dreams, the American dream...

Chicken Soup for my SOUL

I don't know how this would turn out and its my first time getting it done,
but I'll share my chap-a-lang (all in) recipe that comes with step by step instructions and pictures
SO this is what you'll need:

A pot half filled with water (Stock pot)
Carrots (optional)
Salt (for taste)
1 Whole chicken (cut into 6 or more pieces)
Ginseng
Seasame oil
Assorted herbs, you can just get a pack of these, which includes:

• Wolfberries
• Ginseng
• Chinese Angelica root
• Astraglus root
• Pilrose Asiabell root
• Chinese Yam
• Red dates

(some of these I bought individually and added them in as well, I'm not going to put measurements cause it depends how much you wanna make, or you could just eyeball it! NOTE: if you don't like the bitter taste in chinese herbs, put less of the bitter tasting herbs like ginseng)

So here goes!

Take a Stock Pot, rinse it, HYGIENE people! Fill it to half full, my pot is pretty big so I'll need more ingredients and bring this water to a boil. While it sits to boil, read on...

While your water is bringing itself to a boil, prepare your herbs.
Open the packages of herbs, take them out, decide how much you wanna use
Rise them in cold water, to get rid of particles or dust on them

Then soak them for bout 10mins (just to get them to be soft)
Once your water is boiling, you throw in all your herbs, ginger, seasame oil and add salt for taste

*oh dear, as you can see, I totally forgot about my carrot, well I wanted a little more sweetness and got myself a carrot, so while preparing the herbs you should have also cut up your carrot, another good ingredient to add is corn and lotus root if you like and dump them in together with the herbs...

AND you sit and wait for about 2-5 hours on low heat, for these soups the longer the better (my opinion)
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Add Chicken pieces to the soup, bones and all for another 1.5 hours on medium heat and let seat for another hour on low heat

Soup is now ready to be served
For better taste, I suggest leaving it there for a couple more hours and heating the soup up again!
I really enjoy the bitter, and herbal smell of Chinese soups,
Serve with rice and you're ready for a meal (:
GO GO try it and tell me if you made it and how it taste!

To be honest, there are some herbs that I've mentioned above that I don't quite like, feel free to not include those!

Verdict: I've got good comments on them but i felt like I could have made more soup with the ingredients I had thrown in (:

Life is unpredictable

What is going to happen tomorrow?
Can you plan who you will fall in/out of love with?
Will you be prepared when life comes running in your direction?

Finale of the Spring of 2012

You have no idea how much I miss home...

Waiting for Angels to fly!

I'm probably missing my piano very much.
It's gone, a part of me is missing.
I miss my NAFA days, everytime I hear the piano playing,
I feel a part of me ticking. I don't show it, I'm not the best player,
When I watch a theatre show, my hair on my arm stands straight up.
When I hear an instrument in the distance, I turn and become alert...

If I could be plugged in 24/7 I would love to be...
But yes to make room for my new nephew, to get some little cash and for saving some space at home,
My piano's gone...
As much as it's gone, I feel like a part of me has gone too.
Can't explain this feeling much but I'll be home for a month, I just hope the changes aren't that big.

Disparity

My growing up realization...
"Disparity in socioeconomic classes is imminent"
Every part of me wants to deny that,
hearing people try to set up foundations for the poor,
government using funds for goodwill etc...
It never matches up...
Upper class people get away with more than they should.
Controversy arises.

Knowing and hearing what I have recently, and being surrounded by upperclass international students,
very different family backgrounds from mine,
I never once envied them but looked up to those who were humble.
At the same time, I saw the difference.
At the same time, I knew that gap cannot be bridged.
No matter how humbled they are, there is a gap!
Sociologist, Psychologist, Humanitarian, Scholars, etc
they try and understand this gap but in my humble opinion can never be bridged.
Stereotypes, bullying, all sorts of nonsense

Maybe giving an example would clarify what I mean.
I'm not just talking about financial benefits,
but they have privileges in life, that others are incapable of attaining.
Say for example, early education in private schools,
with top notch programes designed for development during critical years of a child's life.
Having access to nutritional foods which provides for a kids development years, etc
Well getting away with punishments by the law, having cover ups may seem like something that could happen to.

So why are we who we are? Are we to blame for how we end up to be? Are we already in a system that have us designated to where we are supposed to be? Is there a government that acts like "God" to designate our lifes?

Young, wild and free

Young, wild and free

I've always this inkling that I'm a committment-phobe.

"Of course, if you’re not ready to commit, no one will ever be good enough for you. So either accept your partner for who he is or leave the relationship altogether."

I always feel this way... And this article summed me up on a page, wow!

Hiatus...

Back from my hiatus

It was just raining and I thought about home

And how my shoes always get wet.
The time it rains here can be counted with your hands and feet.

SO recently i bought this new in-ear V-moda and I am sooo happy with their customer service after returning for a defective left ear after 2 months...
I sent it back to receive an email saying that they were a pair of fakes that I got on Amazon.
But because they have a good customer service they would send me a new pair (:

So I got it this morning and guess what?
They gave me more than I asked,
LOVE the stickers and definitely the earphones are AWESOME (:

VERY HAPPY, like a SONGBIRD

And if you guys already added me, please use INSTAGRAM,
available now on Andriod,
i update pretty often, random pictures of what I am doing.
Think its pretty useful.
TOO many people on FB stalking me that i already tried to block...
So move move, sign up for INSTAGRAM.
I don't have twitter but I love instagram!

New

Learn

In all honesty,

Not everyone know all the facades we hide.

Not everyone understands everything the same way.

Maybe I should come clean and explain explicitly how I feel.

So yes I am outgoing but under this outgoing-ness what lies underneath is pretty raw.

I am human and being in my 3rd year away from home,

I've never felt this homesick ever.

I fear, i fear for the unknown and what is to come.

I fear as I age, what would become of me.

I fear loneliness, its scary, most of it comes from standing among my friends and still feeling the sense of loneliness...

Thats not all...

I am just as sinful as anyone out there. Doing things that maybe I shouldn't be doing.

I try not to judge, cause everyone did something for a purpose.

I try not to redo the wrongs I've realised I made.

I try to Love more, I try my hardest to understand more.

I seek forgiveness, I shamelessly try and understand the things that happen around me.

I believe my main purpose in life,

is still after all my years of seeking and learning is to serve God, is to understand mankind just a little more, is to LOVE more.

A very distorted blogpost of me and thats just how I am, take it or leave it.

Also, if my family ever reads this,

I miss you guys at home. I honestly feel sad that I've missed important events that took place.

From my Grandma's funeral to my sister giving birth.

Live moves on, the cycle of life and time continues the way it does everyday.

What is your purpose? Are you appreciating life like you ought to?

Its all a gift, despite challenges and negative emotions, I love life like crazy now!

When you learn

You only learn to love when you learn to let everything all go (:

It's 5 o clock in the morning...

It's 5 in the morning...

How odd.. can't get to sleep.
Watched this video and I hope you share it too

KONY 2012 from INVISIBLE CHILDREN on Vimeo.

I have been struggling with school, who said that university is easy? You study like crazy to get an F... Things have been getting better (I hope) but yes quarter system flies by really fast!

I'm sorry I hardly catch up with any of you these days but other than staying in the library, thats about all the life I have...
Catch my updates on fb, thats where you can stalk me I guess...
Rather uninteresting life these days.
But I like (:

Nugget of wisdom:
I've been taking this class as a college requirement "Making of the /Modern /World" (excuse me don't want my blog to pop up when someone searches)
I thought it was a really stupid course,
first you ought to learn about historian/philosophers like adam smit, locke, hobbes and rousseau and they really made no sense to me and i couldn't care less of what they thought.
But through the video above and yes attending lectures I finally learn that, they ain't important cause they are dead but we are and knowledge is vital to changes and therefore I am gonna work hard for this class...

I'm glad to be in this institute and glad that I've gain valuable insights that I would never have accquired if I didn't step out here. I know now how unmotivated in studying back then...
No turning back LOVE from SAN DIEGO

LOL...

LOL...

God is funny!
I don't play basketball,
I don't catch basketball matches.
I'm not the best athelete.
Not to say I'm not the best friend.
And I'm not the best person to be called religious.
(Oh trust me...I've changed soo much after coming here, I figured I lost myself)

KS a good friend I met in UCSD who is from Malaysia and is also a Psych major like myself and a Christian is a reminder.
I honestly gave up finding a church here, i gave up finding friends and I gave myself up.
Call me a late bloomer but life has been tough.
My struggles everyday is getting my work load done,
trying to stay out of temptations way, there's shopping, spending money, finding a companion, not getting drunk, and anything that is coming across your mind now may have crossed mine.

But Jeremy Lin, the Taiwanese player came up on this youtube video which I could hardly even tell what it was
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fYrTv_eekI
(Warning long-ass video an hour)
taught me something.


Romans 5:3-5
New International Version (NIV)
3 Not only so, but we[a] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

(Taken from http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+5%3A3-5&version=NIV)

I trust that this life is surrendered to Him to use it as he pleases.
Very definite answer for all of you whether I am staying or leaving this land of dreams, I can only say I leave it in His hands.
Doors will open and close as His will and all I wanna do is to glorify His name.

Call me religious whatever, it doesn't matter. He does matter to me.
Why Daiyan, why do you do this?
Hey you just got to have a relationship with him to know how satisfied my life is, how blessed it has been since the day I knew Him and I can never explain in plain words what my life being in Christ has been to share with you this love and happiness that I have.

The last 3 months of Him missing in my life has been depressing.
Its to the point where I can't even explain how it feels. It probably feels hopeless.
I love you guys and I will update whenever I get the chance.

??

???

Can someone explain to me how did I get into this school?

Cause its fucking hard
And I'm ever drowning.....

A night

Terminology of illusion

So I watched 2 documentaries "bowling for Columbine" and "Untold stories of Columbine", I think you should know where this is going...

But no. I thought I was going to watch something about shooting and stuff but instead it answered a burning question and uncomfort ever since I stepped foot here. Now I really think I'm in the wrong place, why didn't I choose to go to Canada like where my dad wanted me to go?

Things happen for a reason. Why is there so much hype about the American culture? Why do many think that they are cool? And when I came here, nothing is like what I perceived, in act its the total opposite. I know I said I am blessed to be here and I still am and that my time here had a purpose and I see that now.

I see many good people, nice people just like everywhere else in the world. It's the exact same thing. Only difference is that it's an individualistic country aside from SE's community based country and how much fear has been instilled in this people and how corrupted the politicians and people with higher authority are tht led to people turning on to each other and the fear created into each other. One most amazing thing in 1 of the doc. is that he was in Canada and he opened every home he passed by and all of it was unlocked! And they have only like 68 cases of gun shooting in 1 particular year as compared to 11000 over in the US.

But my main concern isn't this but more like the segregation I see in people, the openness to people are really limited and why I feel so boxed in, caged up and why they never understood me. Wow. I think I'm bored out of my mind to blog something like this. It is the truth though, just keep it as a fun fact for those of you who don't understand my rantings.

In Him I need His Strength!

2012

2012



This year's New Year wish is to meet one out of all of you that is different HAHAHHAA..... (: